Robo-Dog (2015)

There's no reason to sugarcoat this, Robo-Dog is truly awful. The acting starts at an incredibly low level in the opening scene and never makes an effort to stretch beyond that. Wallace Shawn is an actor you've seen in many films this poor, where he plays characters this transparent, but even he must have questioned whether it's worth turning up to the office. Speaking of the office, the scenes claiming to be shot in his high-tech research laboratory were done on such a cheap scale that even children's science programmes look more convincing.
Plot spoiler ahead.....the real dog, imaginatively called Dog, dies, through overheating in a hot attic, trapped whilst chasing a ball. The scene is done with so little explanation that whilst it's clear, after the event, that the dog is dead, the film chooses to dance around it for fear of touching on a serious topic.
The only redeeming feature in the entire debacle is the installation of vacuum in the dog's butt, but that merely emphasises the level the film is operating at.

Adult score: 1/5
Child score: 3/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: Speechless

D.A.R.Y.L. (1985)

In a world post-E.T. and Tron the movie studios were struggling to ensure that technology was part of the film formula and D.A.R.Y.L. tries to combine children and robots but it's all a bit dated in execution. The audience are led on a merry dance until it is revealed that Daryl is not all he seems but by then even a seven year old can work it out. The language is somewhat spicy for a PG in the 80s but the acting is decent enough, the bond between the kids is convincing and when Daryl takes control of his own destiny the film sweeps to a pleasing climax. It's all very silly and the technology, computer graphics and mainframe computers look incredibly dated, making Kubrick's A.I. look all the more outstanding.

Adult score: 3/5
Child score: 3/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: "It was okay"