My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

Whilst this was an initially difficult sell for the little one, Totoro eventually won her over. It's a delightful, charming and harmless film with beautifully conceived characters. Totoro is fiendishly unexplained, as is the Cheshire Cat Bus Service which charges across the countryside on its many legs, and despite the occasional darkness with the Soot balls and an ill mother, the joyful, imaginative tone remains throughout.

It does seem as though the film engaged the adult more than the child, and on further probing the scenes of mild peril caused concern, but there's little to dislike about this film.

In a rare twist, this one was favoured by the adult over the child.

Totoro is a character to remember.

Adult score: 4/5
Child score: 3/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: It was okay but didn't like the scary bits 

Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco (1996)

This film adopts an identical plot to the first with the difference being the setting which has now been moved to the city from the wilderness, and the dangers inherent within the inner city. There's little humour on offer, just some talking animals. There's an attempt to develop the characteristics of the stray dog gang but with little to do as such, it all seems pointlessly lightweight. We have the dim but bad dogs terrorising the 'pet' animals and the dim, and lazily conceived dog-nappers. The actors know what's expected of them and do little to exceed our expectations, playing everything as clumsily and amateurish as an unnecessary sequel demands.

Adult score: 2/5
Child score: 3/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: Nothing 

The Adventures of Milo and Otis (1986)

This is a perfectly charming, totally inoffensive, gentle tale narrated by Dudley Moore. We follow Milo the cat and Otis the dog, from infancy into parenthood and all the adventures in between. The only hint of peril is a passable run in with a Black bear cub, so it can be enjoyed by all age groups without any concern.

Adult score: 3/5
Child score: 4/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: Nothing

Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005)

As is usually the case with sequels, there are diminishing returns and this film is slim of plot, laughter and amusing pranks. It's about coming of age, a father contending with maturing kids and a historical competitive feud between families. There's nothing wrong with the film, it doesn't offend, it's just there and it continues to try to capitalise on the multiple children gag which has worn transparently thin.

That all said, the little one enjoyed it and still wanted more.

Adult score: 2/5
Child score: 4/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: Are you sure there are not any other films with twelve children in them?

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

This film was a surprise package we stumbled across and delivered very satisfyingly. It was vaguely humorous, there were some good life lessons for the little one, some entertaining set-pieces and a happy conclusion. It wasn't crass or offensive, just gentle, preposterous humour.

Adult score: 3/5
Child score: 4/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: Are there any more films with twelve children in them!

Problem Child (1990)

According to imdb.com this is a family film and is also a comedy, I'm not sure it's either and I think they have also failed to mention that it is offensive. Problem Child is quite frankly awful but unfortunately because the child in it gets up to mischief deemed funny by children, it is supposed to be seen as acceptable. Even the positive message this film is supposed to present is laughable, every child should be loved and adults should give children every chance possible.

There is nothing to recommend about this film. The behaviour is offensive, and this is not a prudish response, but one of a basic requirement for comedic mishaps and not just damn viciousness. The language is offensive, perhaps more acceptable to lower age groups in the 90s, now it's just rude.

We did attempt to watch Problem Child 2 but after eight minutes the language had become so offensive and the behaviour just plain rude that I deemed it too inappropriate.

Adult score: 0/5
Child score: 4/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: Nothing comprehensible

The Town Christmas Forgot (2010)

This is a made for television Christmas feel-good film, that's all you need to know because you can draw your own conclusions from that and will not be far wide of the mark.

The implausibilities and ridiculous nature of the plot do not bare discussing, there are cliches oozing from every orifice. The acting is perfunctory from the main players and then is a sliding scale from there, to the point that you could believe that a film crew rocked into a destitute town to begin production and some locals drifted onto the set when nobody was looking.

You could blame the failure of this film on the absence of cats and dogs and magic but this would have required high-grade Magic Circle influence to conjure anything special out of such a lame premise.

There are no redeeming aspects to this film.

Adult score: 0/5
Child score: 4/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: Nothing to say and no explanation to justify the high score