Postman Pat: The Movie

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, and oh dear again. Someone thought this was a good idea and the actors involved were obviously able to swallow their shame and bank the cheque. Everything appalling about this film aside the most jarring aspect is that when Pat sings in the competition it preposterously switches to Ronan Keating singing. It's so dramatically different that it nearly suggests the plotline is Pat sings along to a pre-recorded backing track. It's an insult to the viewer's intelligence.

The additional absurdity is that the Pat-Bots, robot versions of Pat destined to take over the postal industry, are truly menacing for small children, with their wide evil grimace and penetrating red eyes. The less said about Jess-Bot and his laser-bolt eyes the better.

Despite all this the film did pass the Kermode six laugh test for the Child when Jess has a serious of mishaps.

Adult score: 0/5
Child score: 3/5
First thing the child said when the film finished: Absolutely nothing....for some time.